A few days ago my two year old was watching Brave for the first time. I saw it through different eyes. It really got me thinking... 

As I do every year, I make a few small goals. I have things that I want to work on and mostly just do things that make me happy. I choose a word, this year it is Acknowledge. My one little word is something that is more like a motto to live by. I can’t be scared this year to go full force to accomplish my goals. I want to ACKNOWLEDGE His hand in my life and ACKNOWLEDGE my talents. 

Lately I've taken a few steps back to really think about what I want to do. I'm still figuring it out. I know that I could accomplish so much, but there’s this little thing called doubt that gets in my way. I have this fear that if I finish a project that it won’t be good enough, so it’s better to just not finish at all. I love what I do, but I don’t like being judged. Writing is something that I do for myself anyways, that being said—I feel that we can help others with our talents as well. I have had other hobbies in the past that I haven’t put my full effort in because I was scared of failure. I need to be BRAVE.

As a young mother I thought I was such a good mom, but I realized it is really hard. In fact, my grandmother would always tell me that I was the best mom she’d ever seen. I knew that I wasn’t the best mom, but the beautiful thing is that I knew she believed it. My grandma would say things to us that were meant just for us to hear. Grandma Budd had dementia in her last 6 months, there was only one time that she didn’t know who I was, but I understood. I loved her and I knew she loved me. She wasn’t quite sure who I was one day and I had to remind her of my name. She just smiled politely pretending she knew me. Even though she didn’t know my name, she knew me and she said something that proved deep down she loved me. “You are such a sweet person. I can just tell you are the best mom.” 

I have days that I just need to hear from her and get that little boost of self-esteem. I know I am talented, but I have people who have discouraged me. Who’ve judged every decision I’ve made with my life and children. I then realize that my job as a mom and my other talents are not determined on others beliefs. I know I am a great mom and I am talented and I have some amazing friends and family and supporters. 


I have several ancestors who have left journals and their words have helped me so much. Family history has changed my life. I love something my 4th Great Grandmother Nancy Naomi Alexander Tracy wrote in her personal history. “I am a firm believer in the fulfillment of prophecies and I believe they will be fulfilled as sure as the sun shines by day and gives us light.” I too know that Heavenly Father gave us all gifts and talents and I have been promised that my talents will help others. We all need to continue to share them so they can grow. My calling as a mother has been one of the most difficult, but the most beautiful years in my life.

When we are shooting an arrow you must pull it backwards to shoot it forward at your target. Just like in life, we sometimes need to step back before we can move forward. I need to remember what Merida said in the movie Brave. “There are those who say fate is something beyond our command, that destiny is not our own. I know better. Our fate lives within us. You only have to be brave enough to see it.”  I can create my life, I can make it as miserable or beautiful as I want to. "The trick is to enjoy life. Don't wish away your days waiting for better ones."~Marjorie Pay Hinckley